Religion Satirists Pillows

Shepherds visit baby Jesus. Joseph says: 'Oh, there's plenty of room at the inn, we're just downsizing.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter. John you are out of order again."

Goliath's Widow.

"E.mail address?"

'We can't have lifts because the competition snapped up Mr Otis.'

"In your own words, describe to the court. . . what you witnessed - and when and where you witnessed it, Mister Jehovah."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Priest's 'To do' list.

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

Bishops Snooker