Religious Satirists Pillows

"Hey, what do you know - a lefty."

Church Fete: Guess the sexual orientation of the vicar and win a jar of piccalilli.

"Here he is, folks, straight from his deathbed in Jersey City, a beautiful guy—let's hear a nice round of applause for . . ."

"I've been praying for an excuse not to go Christmas shopping."

"This is intentional. I'm sacrificing myself to myself to save humanity from myself."

"My god is the one true god!"

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

Sermon: '...and on the eighth day he created creationists.'

'You were in the mafia? Sorry, admission denied - on orders of the Pope.'

'I'm a victim of identity theft.'

'Referring to God as 'she' seems to offend all the right people.' (religious people discussing religion)

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

'Well, okay, but these won't be easy to market.'

'Damn! That's 758 slices and still no image of the Blessed Virgin.'

Life preserver

'I really don't know if I should. Jesus doesn't like money changers.'

"So I'll have to believe it so see it?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'