Religion Reflector Pillows

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

'God's dead. We're closed.'

The Origin of Creationism

"I bet that under your preachy, holier-than-thou attitude is another preachy, holier-than-thou attitude."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

'How does it make you feel when he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work you put into gathering?'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Lucky!"

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

"Uh Oh! Looks like you're being un-friended."

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"For the experiencing self or the remembering self?" "That was nice."

"That's just my memory mattress."

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

"Twenty years ago, I invited you in for a nightcap. I now retract that invitation."

Sinner/Devout.

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'