Relief Seeker T-Shirts

"Of course it was good, Milton. . . But the best part is it took my mind off the condition the country is in for nearly twenty minutes!"

'Take ten days off work.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Spa

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Working Holiday

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

Cat in a flap

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Super Heroes.

My God, I need to fart.

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

"I love this time of day."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Dog in Daisys

"I hate it when we fight."

"Eat me"