Relaxed Realist Gifts

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

'Morgue - Welcome to the chill-out room.'

Success Without Effort

"When people talk about a 'staycation' this isn't what they mean!"

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

Trivia/Great Literature.

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"Productivity may be up but I miss seeing people miserable."

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

Inbox and Outbox

'If you ask me the time again, I'll punch you!'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'Sometimes I think you'll be sorry when the baby gets here.'

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

"It breaks my heart to see you stressed out here at work, so you're fired."

The Dungeon

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Rural Cityscape