Relativity Mavericks Gifts

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Targets.

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'I say we try it.'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

"Let's all go out & get drunk."

'Well, it looks like the 'yea' has it.'

Proposed Changes To The Laws Of Gravity

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

Humor in the workplace is serious stuff. Never laugh before the drum roll.

'We tried a mind mapping excercise and found his in a skip next to the A564 in slough.'