Relationship Troubles Aficionado Gifts

"Your husband went back to his first wife and is already on board."

"Call me?"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Sitting in a tree

Valentine Day

Mantis Love

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

Tongue in the ear...

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

Love Birds love just being together

Banana Smoothie

You just keep giving.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

A small heart within a big heart.

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

"Legs up to here!"

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"

I can't bear to be without you.

'I even love the way you snore!'

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"The difference between a great guy and a total loser? I'd say it's about this much Merlot."

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'