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Two men at relate

"Oh no, Dave is my reserve groom, just in case Steve doesn't show up."

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

"Sure he's cute...but he's too childish!"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Dating the efficiency expert.

Separations.

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"