Relationship Strategist T-Shirts

"In Vino Fertilization"

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

"Point your feet away from him-that means your're not interested."

"Loss of libido? Have you considered Husband Replacement Therapy?"

'He shouldn't be here really. There's a pile of ironing at home.'

'He's remarrying her for his money.'

'I want a second opinion. What does your wife think?'

"I've done the numbers, and I will marry you."

"I never take no for an answer. As a result, I've been married 27 times."

"They're having a price war."

'She had an exit strategy.'

'This was taken when I loved to run my fingers through his thick, black hair. These days, I prefer to run them through his wallet.'

'Do you have any wolves in sheep's clothing?'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"Monogamy is like a portfolio with only one investment in it?"

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

"This is boring. Let's have children."

'My husband took these pills to give him some get up and go, and the next thing I knew, he got up and went.'

"Look, I'm doing a little me-time right now. Why don't you go ahead and do a little you-time, and then I'll be over at eight for a little us-time."

'OK, you win, I've stopped playing hard to get.'

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'We're having another leadership contest'

'My wife can be argued with, but her mother's decisions are final.'

"After he gave me the ring, he said I have great long-term potential and a low risk factor."

"My husband wouldn't come so I brought my lawyer."

"Did you know the Latino population will increase from 6 million to nearly 19 million by the year 2020?"

'We never communicate any more except through our lawyers.'

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

'We were married before, and now he wants a rematch.'

'These are all the coalitions I've formed.'

'That will be fine, go ahead and book - it'll just take a couple of days for me to convince him that it was his idea.'

'Of course I have simple tastes — I married you, didn't I?'

First husband...second husband...third husband.

'She's had three husbands,including her own!'

'Either we get married or we split up. I'm through playing games.'