Relationship Rehabilitator Gifts

"The Thomases have a way of fighting with each other that turns out to be very positive for them both."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

She - Interpreter - He.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

WHO checklist

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

'He's got 99 problems but his Bitch aint one!'

"He thinks he never makes mistakes."

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"It's not you-it's me."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

Mime marriage.

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."