Relationship Quizzes Gifts

'According to the quiz in this magazine, we shouldn't even be in the same room.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"We don't talk anymore."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

'You know, I'll be honest...I don't think you two mix very well with one another.'

'Of course I can make a commitment. I'm committed to my job, I'm committed to the constitution and I'm committed to my golf game.'

"My orgasm was fake."

"I've been married for twenty years. How's that for conflict resolution?"

'Oh, that's my webcam. Probably should have mentioned that at the beginning.'

Sex Score

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

'Sex is good!'

"No, I like my job. I like my apartment. I like my friends. I like our relationship. I'm just not sure I like what it all adds up to."

"Don't walk away from me while I'm not paying any attention to you."

"Your husband is fooling around."

I'll says he's outgoing - he's never home!

"Bertha, will you do me a favor and stop reading those damn 'How to Save Your Marriage' articles?"

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

'I had my accounting department run a cost-benefit analysis on you and I have some bad news.'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

'How can she tell that in only three minutes?'

Marriage Guidance

'She says I won't understand her until I've walked a mile in her shoes.'

"She got everything, including your mistress."

"Is there something you'd like to talk about, Gerald?"

"I'm starting to think this is a marriage that should have been an e-mail."

"I just broke up with my boyfriend. He said if I really loved him, I would get a job and help him buy a car."

'Your new boyfriend has potential, needs some omprovement. Overlooks a few things.' 'My husband is an estate agent.'