Relationship Ending Pillows

It's just not going to work. I'm looking for a mole with more tunnel vision.

"You're history, Leonard."

"We'd like a nice, quiet table where I can dump him."

Hollywood Breakup

'So you came all the way from Aberdeen to say you've found someone else and you're over me?!' 'Yes! I wanted to see the pain and sense of loss in your eyes.'

"Harry and I are not on the same page anymore."

Nifty ways to dump your lover; use the toilet seat as a picture frame.

Giving the elbow.

"If we're going to divorce, I suppose we'd better divide our friends up between us..."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"It could never work between us."

"Sorry Frank, but I can no longer go on with this charade. Not only am I not your best friend, I'm not even sure if I like you at all."

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Ice Cream Flavors

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

Generation Ex.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"I can be changed!"

"It's not you—it's natural selection."

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

The final all-toast supper at apartment 5-B

The sunsets on Barry and Beryl's relationship:'Very funny Beryl, but you better dig me out now...'

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

"I wanted this to work, too James, but it's time we accepted it - I am entirely grass and you are clearly some part of the cat's face."

'He used to be my tiger, now he's nothing more than a skunk, a boar and a lying toad.'