Relationship Break Pillows

"Frankly, Dolores, I'm tired of being your piñata."

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

The prying mantis,

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'Great Therapy!'

"I can't believe he brought her."

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"We don't talk anymore."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

Blues artis's daily list

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'