Relationship Drama Detective T-Shirts

'Dana, did I make a bad impression on your father?'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"I can't believe he brought her."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

A spy

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'That's him. Number 3 is the one who attacked me.'

Noir kitty.

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

Violence on TV.

"My defense attorney couldn't shake the witness's identity of me as the perpetrator."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."