Relationship Drama Detective Pillows

'Dana, did I make a bad impression on your father?'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"I can't believe he brought her."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"He did it!"

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

A spy

'That's him. Number 3 is the one who attacked me.'

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

Noir kitty.

"My defense attorney couldn't shake the witness's identity of me as the perpetrator."

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

Violence on TV.

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."