Relationship Decoder Pillows

'I read your silly email this morning about me not paying enough attention to you...'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

Heart to heart talk.

The Wishing Well

"Arthur, I need my space."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

Waterfall of Disappointment

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

Monogamy