Relationship Comic Collector Gifts

'Give me a hand, you big lug -- I can't make breakfast all by MYSELF!'

"Oh, great... they say they all have headaches."

"Don't get me wrong – I'm pro crazy bitches."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

"She's pissed that I support Trump...but she'll get over it."

'Of Course I'm State-Sanctioned.'

"I knew something was wrong when you didn't complain about my cooking."

"Fancy a quickie?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

The Fourth Little Pig

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Welcome Spring.

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'Super Dog'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Bears catching fish

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."