Relationship Comic Admirer Pillows

"We did it—nice work today." "Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you soon."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Cow of BEEF

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

'Your rhino, or mine?'

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

'Do you want to see a movie tonight?'

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

"Ah, how romantic. They're kissing under my missing toe."

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

'Burf, I think the ants are trying to tell us something.

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

Phill Jupitus

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

"You mean the rumours she dated a Flamingo are true?"

I was expecting something else when you said nuptial agreement!

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"I picked him up cheap on eBay."

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

Blarney Stone Romance

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

'And I thought I was leaving you.'

"I should let you know, you accidentally forwarded THAT mail to me."

"I didn't know what else to get you."