Relationship Comic Admirer Pillows

"We did it—nice work today." "Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you soon."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Cow of BEEF

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Your rhino, or mine?'

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'Do you want to see a movie tonight?'

"Ah, how romantic. They're kissing under my missing toe."

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

'Burf, I think the ants are trying to tell us something.

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

I was expecting something else when you said nuptial agreement!

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"You mean the rumours she dated a Flamingo are true?"

"I picked him up cheap on eBay."

Blarney Stone Romance

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

'And I thought I was leaving you.'

"I should let you know, you accidentally forwarded THAT mail to me."

"Open marriage? All right, open marriage it is!"

"I didn't know what else to get you."