Relationship Anniversary Pillows

"I said I'm sorry."

"Darling, all the warmth has gone out of our relationship..."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

'Sorry I'm late.'

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

"Ballroom dancing helps us over our rough spots."

'You can learn a lot about a person by how they treat a waiter.'

The Odd Couple.

'She nitpicks all the time!'

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'

'Fetch us a couple of beers before we start, luv.'

'We haven't had lift-off since Apollo 11...'

'I know, let's get a tattoo together.'

"I don't mind you climbing my hair to visit me. What I do mind is the way you abseil down when you leave!"

"My husband and I never spoon, but I guess that's what I get for running away with a dish."

"I think we should start making commitments to other people we can't keep."

A smart wife puts one and one together and makes whee.

Frog and Princess in Bar

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'We spend hours in the bedroom,but that's only because that's where the telly is!'

Cupid with an arrow machine gun

"Nope - ya know what they say - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure..."

Body Language - "Guess why I'm annoyed."

"Well...Ok! But promise you won't leave me on my back!"

"It was bow-wow for me. Was it bow-wow for you?"

"I've got nothing on for the next few months, do you fancy sex?"

Relationship Counsellor

"It was inevitable, Janice. My smart car gained sentience and now we're in love."

"Last night, me and the wife watched 3 films back-to-back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV...."

Chivalrous Snowman

"You never take me anywhere."

"Say something. I forget what you sound like."