Dating Anniversary Pillows

"Looks like someone got lucky."

"You have such beautiful eyes."

"I can't wait to see what you're like online."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Is that how you really feel or is all that sweetness artificial?"

'Thank-you for the flowers. I'll just pop them in a very small vase.'

Couch Potato Romance - 'I don't give up the remote on the first date.'

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

They were made for each other. She was easy to look at; he had a lazy eye.

"My battery died too. Wanna talk?"

The Ultimate In Rodent Praise.

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"I warned you against getting involved with that bee!"

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

Couple ignoring each other with spatnav on facia.

'I've nothing against marriage - I just haven't met anyone with a character worth moulding.'

'Ever considered playing EASY to get?'

The woman Frank's dating said he's like a computer. That's nice. Maybe she said that because of his logical mind. Or that he can handle multiple tasks at one time. Or because he can provide lots of information about any topic. No, she said none of those things are true about Frank. She thinks he's like a computer because when she stops paying attention to him, he goes right to sleep. ZZZZ.

I love going slightly crazy on girls' night out. The only nagging feeling I have in the back of my mind is that our boyfriends are going 20 times crazier. Menu.

"So, do you come here often?"

Gloria knows where you've been tonight, Lance. Apparently, that sandwich she made you for lunch contained salami, cheese, lettuce, tomato and a GPS tracker. !! !!

I find that 10% of my dates leave the restaurant in a cab, 10% in an Uber car, and 80% in a huff. !

I remember when you used to cock your head and listen to me like that.

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Way too much tongue!"

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

"If I weren't a living fossil I could go for you."

"I don't actually speak them, but I know the names of lots of languages."

Cloud Watching

"Eating red meat, drinking alcohol, using a petrol driven car, you're such an old romantic Jefferson."

"I love a man with street smarts."

"Can I buy you a drink? And then if things don't work out between us you can pay me back?"