Marriage Anniversary Pillows

The Crossroads of Wisdom: Past Mistakes, Future Gambles and Listen to Your Wife.

'According to my wife, I snore, and one of these nights I may stop breathing.'

"I'm not trying to change you—I'm trying to enhance you."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'Tell me your side of the story. I already know the truth.'

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"Honey, I'm home."

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"Where has he gone now?"

'I agree it was a pointless arguement, but I still won.'

"Forget skiing - he's been doing the mens' downhill since I married him."

'Do you have anything for the 7 year itch?'

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

'I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. Martin was a floor model.'

The secret of marriage is chemistry - he's on valium and I'm on prozac

"Have we really reached a point in our relationship where a heavy police presence is required?"

"If we're going to talk, can we at least have the TV blaring?"

Tunnel of Marriage

"We thought a second honeymoon getaway would be helpful to our relationship after so many years of marriage. So Fred's going to Ireland...And I'm going to Italy!"

Keeping your marriage interesting

"If you had to give me high marks for something, what would it be?"

'Yesterday, when you smiled at me in that cute way of yours and said 'You can be a real jerk,' was that just an observation or were you giving me permission?'

"You know, Marion, one of the things that has stood the test of time is these tassel oxfords."

"To be frozen solid for a while on the north slope of Mt. Everest would, I occasionally feel, be a welcome change."

"Let's update our will and go on vacation."

"I can express my opinions to you because you have an open mind."

"Face book suggests we be friends."

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

'I found a homing device in my wedding ring.'

'Every time my wife makes a move for the check book I get motion sickness.'

Opera.

"I only make that muck for you, I've ordered myself a pizza."

'I know I've not always been the most attentive of husbands, Deirdre...'

'Hey, honey, remember when I told you to expect a big surprise on our anniversary? Well, I snuck off to go hunting with Cliff - SURPRISE!'

"The champagne makes this night so special...which reminds me, I really should call my husband and wish him a Happy Anniversary!"