Marriage Anniversary Gifts

The Crossroads of Wisdom: Past Mistakes, Future Gambles and Listen to Your Wife.

'According to my wife, I snore, and one of these nights I may stop breathing.'

"I'm not trying to change you—I'm trying to enhance you."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'Tell me your side of the story. I already know the truth.'

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"Honey, I'm home."

"Where has he gone now?"

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"Forget skiing - he's been doing the mens' downhill since I married him."

'Do you have anything for the 7 year itch?'

'I agree it was a pointless arguement, but I still won.'

The secret of marriage is chemistry - he's on valium and I'm on prozac

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

'I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. Martin was a floor model.'

"What have you been saying about me to the goldfish?!

"After 20 years of marriage I'm going on a second honeymoon. Next week my husband in going on his."

Tunnel of Marriage

"Let's update our will and go on vacation."

Opera.

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"Face book suggests we be friends."

"To be frozen solid for a while on the north slope of Mt. Everest would, I occasionally feel, be a welcome change."

'I hate it when you take that conversational tone with me.'

"You know, Marion, one of the things that has stood the test of time is these tassel oxfords."

'I know I've not always been the most attentive of husbands, Deirdre...'

"More like 50 shaded of beige."

"If you had to give me high marks for something, what would it be?"

'Now that's Real TV!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'No, the dog is fine...I'm looking for a husband whisperer!'

'I found a homing device in my wedding ring.'

"Have we really reached a point in our relationship where a heavy police presence is required?"

"The champagne makes this night so special...which reminds me, I really should call my husband and wish him a Happy Anniversary!"