Milestone Marriage Anniversary Pillows

'Your wife says you were married for 50 years and now you want to communicate?'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

Frog to frog: 'Do you promise to love me warts and all?'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"You've changed."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"