Marital Milestone Celebrator Pillows

Congratulations on your Plutonium Anniversary

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'You mustn't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, Dear. It makes me feel redundant.'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

A very fine vintage

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"If it's all random, why are you always here?"

'She said her first words today.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

'Today's our 15th wedding anniversary?--Oh, yes, I remember, the market was up 3.29493% that day.'

'Your wife says you were married for 50 years and now you want to communicate?'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

Proud mums.

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"I'm sorry, dear, but you know how I feel about intra-marital sex."

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Man and woman surrounded by ivy.

'This would be so romantic if we weren't married to each other.'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

Cure for the wandering eye.

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

Dog to person whose legs are sticking out of doghouse: 'Which important date did you forget this time, Jeff?'