Relationship Advice Jesters Pillows

"Psst. . . want to see what women from Venus really look like?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

The prying mantis,

"This will be hilarious!"

'He does.'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'They were all out of roses.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'