Rekindling Romance Pillows

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

'THERE'S my mojo.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"Wow! I must be dreaming!"

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

Wife to husband about water shot from lapel flower: 'When I said we should put the magic back in our marriage, Steve ...'

Senior dating disasters.

"I was quite pleased to find a job which allows me to see more of my husband."

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

"You've got a green light - use it!"

"My wife wants to spend Halloween with her first husband."

A couple in bed together with their phones.

"Flowers? That's so arrogant!"

"Your idea of bringing the two of us closer together always seems to be for me to go with you to Bloomingdale's."

"I'm afraid we've lost that loving feeling."

"When I said it would be sexy if you were more ANIMAL in bed... I was thinking of a tiger!"

'I can't remember the last time I saw you do something cute.'

Man and a woman sit in a living room; a sign on the wall behind them reads "100% Recycled Conversation".

Forgotten Anniversary Travel...specializing in romantic vacations.

'If I can't put her out of her misery, at least I can put myself out of mine.'

'A second honeymoon? - Are you asking for a do-over?'

'I know we're in love, but there should be an easier way out of it than marriage.'

"Yoo-hoo. Time to climb the stairway to paradise."

'Who said romance is dead?'

"Rekindling an old romance. And you?"