Reindeer Retires Gifts

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

"Death coach..."

Reindeer

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

Best Scapegoat

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

Senior PGA Moment.