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Tourette's Rehab Center

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

"So what did you die of?" "Alcoholism. And You?" "Nationalism."

Lab Rat Rehab...

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

'I remember when you were this high!'

Addiction Research Centre.

Real Hopscotch: 'A 12-Step Program for the addiction to scotch.'

"The good thing is I've given up smoking since I've been here."

"Yeah, he's in rehab, but for the right role I can spring him."

"She made her hat in rehab."

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

'Exercise is good for your rehabilitation, you can start by cleaning the toilets.'

"When I google myself, the only thing that comes up is my arrest record."

Alcoholics Anonymous.

'...and so, after rehab, Snow White married the prince, and lived one day at a time ever after.'

Twelve step program.

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

"In terms of career guidance, access to A-list talent, and studio relationships, you couldn't sign with a better rehab clinic."

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

"Look, I know I have a problem, and I'm going to use the money to enter a robbery clinic for evaluation."

"My wife always said I'd end up mixing with the rich and famous."

Gambling Addiction Treatment Center

Drinking Games for Recovering Alcoholics