Rehab Champion T-Shirts

'Mike graduated at the top of his rehabilitation class!'

Probation Officer

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

Lab Rat Rehab...

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

Addiction Research Centre.

'I remember when you were this high!'

"Yeah, he's in rehab, but for the right role I can spring him."

"The good thing is I've given up smoking since I've been here."

'I think my work here is done.'

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

'Exercise is good for your rehabilitation, you can start by cleaning the toilets.'

"When I google myself, the only thing that comes up is my arrest record."

'...and so, after rehab, Snow White married the prince, and lived one day at a time ever after.'

Bob walked away from the halfway house – but only got halfway.

Twelve step program.

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

"In terms of career guidance, access to A-list talent, and studio relationships, you couldn't sign with a better rehab clinic."

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

"Look, I know I have a problem, and I'm going to use the money to enter a robbery clinic for evaluation."

"My wife always said I'd end up mixing with the rich and famous."

Gambling Addiction Treatment Center

Introducing Roach-Hab.

Social Networking Anonymous 12 Step Program.