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'...and so, after rehab, Snow White married the prince, and lived one day at a time ever after.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Lab Rat Rehab...

Addiction Research Centre.

'I remember when you were this high!'

"Yeah, he's in rehab, but for the right role I can spring him."

"The good thing is I've given up smoking since I've been here."

Real Hopscotch: 'A 12-Step Program for the addiction to scotch.'

All Washed Up

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

'Exercise is good for your rehabilitation, you can start by cleaning the toilets.'

"When I google myself, the only thing that comes up is my arrest record."

"That 12th step is a doozy."

Half & Half Way House: After being paroled from prison, Bessie starts her journey back into main stream society.

'Yes, this is step nine of your twelve-step program.'

Twelve step program.

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

"Look, I know I have a problem, and I'm going to use the money to enter a robbery clinic for evaluation."

Introducing Roach-Hab.

Social Networking Anonymous 12 Step Program.

'I'm pleased to announce that Gary has successfully completed the first step of the program!' 'I think that calls for a little drink!'

"I'm in this dynamite twelve-step program that helps me not miss steps in my other twelve-step programs."