Recovery Champion T-Shirts

Wiggly path leads to 'Alcoholics Anonymous' entrance.

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

"I'm trying to kick the habit."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Spa

Dancing Doctor

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Noise Pollution

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'Could I have a doggie bag?'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'What's for desert?'

A robot is in hospital, he has a card saying 'get welded soon.'