Recovery Champion T-Shirts

Wiggly path leads to 'Alcoholics Anonymous' entrance.

'I remember when you were this high!'

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

"I'm trying to kick the habit."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Spa

Dancing Doctor

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Noise Pollution

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'Could I have a doggie bag?'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'What's for desert?'

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!