Rehabilitation Advocate T-Shirts

"You keep saying that you're a changed man, but if you do get that parole how can I know for sure you won't go back to robbing banks?"

Introducing Roach-Hab.

'We need 2,000 new prison officers. The government is keen to provide employment to ex-offenders. Plus you know the ropes.'

'Vlad the lad formerly Vlad the impaler.'

Keep off the Grass.

"The good thing is I've given up smoking since I've been here."

Gambling Addiction Treatment Center

Self help acupuncture

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'How can I get mad at him for sleeping on the job? It was I who told him that taking naps was healthy.'

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Creative napping

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

Heart shaped man exercising with weights.

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

Crazy Straw. Crazy Straw after therapy

Snow Blind

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"