Regal Raconteur Pillows

Prince Philip

Dear Diary...Royal Diary

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"I'll need a three iron."

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Social butterfly

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

'Go on then.....Rule!'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

The world's oldest braided rug

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

Prince

Brenda always had Safe sex

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

'What's all this I've been hearing about 'future deficits'?'

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'