Regal Humor Lover Pillows

Wow, that's quite a large amount you have listed under 'Royalty Income'

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"Honk if you love me!"

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

"Pass that."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

"I think I'm coming down with something."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Frog Prince holds sign: 'Will work for kisses'.

"She said don't forget the straw."

"Let's not get too hot for each other. I want us to last."

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Clown looks nervously at Grim Reaper eating a banana next to him.

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

Lady to tombstone: 'Sam, I invested all of your money in an IPO last week ... we're millionaires!'

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

'You can come out now, Harold. Economists say a recession won't happen.'

"I recommend the mushrooms."

Larry's Lawnmower Service. Relax, he comes in every spring to get his blade sharpened.

Yes, I'm sure I existed. 404 not found.

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

Rodin & condom.

A postal worker opens a bag of air mail.