Regal Gourmand Gifts

"Well, your Royal Highness, I'd like to put you on a glutton free diet!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Just one more choccy...

A London gent abroad

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

Dijon Vu

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

The Master chef had produced his masterpiece... a monster Danish pastry!

God Cooks Up Evolution

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

Capturing a Cook

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."