Refinery Ranger Gifts

"In other words, it breaks large molecules into small ones."

New Guy.

Bear Hugging Season Open

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'May the forest be with you.'

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

That's actually the gorilla survival manoeuvre. . .

Hadley finds proof that bears actually don't s**t in the woods.

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

Camping with Mr. Thorough

'Break glass in case of tangled antlers.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

The Destruction of the Environment

Wolf Reintroduction.

'Okay wait. Screaming and failing is for large cats...'

Stephen Harpers's China Diary - Great Wall Tour.

"Take no notice, Blendie, it's just Brent, being his usual, crude..."

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

Forest rangers prevent forest fires

Sadly, the few who actually checked their e-mail, were too out of shape to run.

'Oh - It's you.'

Forest Management

Do bears take drug tests in the woods?

"Did you order takeout?"