Forest Ranger Gifts

"Absolutely! Where there's smoke there's fire."

Sadly, the few who actually checked their e-mail, were too out of shape to run.

'Since I got tagged I've been getting way more spam.'

Scout Stuff.

"I don't know anything about forest fires. I ate a ranger."

'So much for our raw food diet.'

"Just once I'd like to eat without cringing in terror."

"No conifering, please."

Humpty the Game Warden

Stephen Harpers's China Diary - Great Wall Tour.

'May the forest be with you.'

"Ok. Don't panic! Let's see..if that's north...Now which way am I facing? Dang!! All these trees look alike!..."

'I'm not sure who to support. One is spoilt for choice these days!'

'Now, watch for bears.'

"Frankly, I always suspected there weren't that many careless campers...."

Tree shoots lumberjack in self-defense.

"I suppose it should be enough that I heard it."

'Well, what do you see out there, Ed?'

Forest Management

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

Plywood

'Something tells me we're in a heap of trouble.'

'We have a weird hostage situation unfolding up on Pinecrest Ridge!'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

"I warned this camper to move his camp away from the Kudzu."

'I knew bears liked berries, but...'

Jungle Man has found himself without a vine or forest to swing too due to logging.

Make America Rake Again!

'Maybe next time you'll remember to bring the ear tags.'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Guilty Verdicts

"What say we make this one of those 'some days you get the bear' days?"

Bear Hugging Season Open

"I guess they're serious about it...I heard they tested a bunch of squirrels last week!"