Forest Ranger Gifts

"Absolutely! Where there's smoke there's fire."

Sadly, the few who actually checked their e-mail, were too out of shape to run.

Scout Stuff.

'Since I got tagged I've been getting way more spam.'

"I don't know anything about forest fires. I ate a ranger."

'So much for our raw food diet.'

"A perfectly working medical alert button! ...But no one ever heard it!"

Tree shoots lumberjack in self-defense.

Forest Management

'Well, what do you see out there, Ed?'

"I suppose it should be enough that I heard it."

"No conifering, please."

"Just once I'd like to eat without cringing in terror."

Humpty the Game Warden

Stephen Harpers's China Diary - Great Wall Tour.

'May the forest be with you.'

"Ok. Don't panic! Let's see..if that's north...Now which way am I facing? Dang!! All these trees look alike!..."

'I'm not sure who to support. One is spoilt for choice these days!'

'Now, watch for bears.'

"Frankly, I always suspected there weren't that many careless campers...."

Made Out of Recycled Paper

'It says here dry rot is on the increase.'

'Maybe next time you'll remember to bring the ear tags.'

Make America Rake Again!

'I can smell the smoke, but I can't spot the fire.'

Jungle Man has found himself without a vine or forest to swing too due to logging.

'I knew bears liked berries, but...'

"I warned this camper to move his camp away from the Kudzu."

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'We have a weird hostage situation unfolding up on Pinecrest Ridge!'

'Something tells me we're in a heap of trouble.'

Plywood

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

"Hmmm. . . Nope, never seen the guy."