Referral Runner Gifts

'Your doctor referred you to an expert, who referred you to a specialist, who referred you to me. Good morning, I'm a crank.'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"I told him he should have trained more."

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Women in a cross country race

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

'Stress'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

He won't stop talking about being the fastest ever. He's a broken record about breaking a record.

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Runner's High, Runner's Low

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

Wilfried Zaha

Man on a treadmill desperately trying to get at a carrot dangling infront of him from a stick tied to his back

Loser's Podium.

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

A number of runners run through police tape.

Congratulations for male runner

'Well, did you win or what?'

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

Alien abducts Olympic athlete.

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"

'This could save us a bundle on electricity...by the way, Bob, how fast can you run?'

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

Portrait finish.

Linford Christie

While Desmond was by far the world's fastest marathon runner, his Achilles heel was his wimpiness.

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

The pole bolt

"I have bad knees."