Reference Book Reader Gifts

'My favorite book? The 1946 Encyclopedia Britannica's volume 9, Extracti to Gamb. What's yours?'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

'Bront?saurus.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

Jane Austen

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

Books*. *Batteries not included.

Cat reading Rommel biography.

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

Romy Schneider

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

The Catkins Diet

Baseball Rules Conference. The actions of this runner are prohibited by the current rules. Next slide, please.

Best Sellers; Worst Sellers.

Symbolism for Artists

"Avoiding something, aren't we?"

Self-realization.

"We start on #F."

Who's Who and Who Cares.

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

"What do you care what other people think? Just run zig-zaggy."

Flautist