Self-help Book Reader Gifts

How to be super annoying and cute

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Let me do it."

"What do you care what other people think? Just run zig-zaggy."

The Catkins Diet

Small print in sex manual giving woman a headache

'My name's Rufus, and I'm a boneaholic.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

Chicken soup for the sole.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Self Help / Elf Help.

'You need to ask yourself, Am I a pecan or a pecan't?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"You're going to create the same problems on the way down as you created on the way up."

'Education is very important. Let's go buy three liters of books so we can learn!'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

The Power of Positive Stinking

(Preschool for Dummies)

"Have you ever known anyone famous?" "I have." "I've always been great friends with Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." "What? That's you." "Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they should know you." "Hey, you all over there! You know me!" "You don't carry things with your mouth."

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

"Avoiding something, aren't we?"

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

'I finally got in touch with my true inner self, and he's as bad as I am.'

'I know how you feel.'

Dislecksick Sipport Grewp.h

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

Self-realization.

Commuter reads book entitled: Commuters for Dummies.

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

'My first wife said I was ignorant. My second said I bragged too much. My third said I was conceited. And so it is that my self-knowledge just keeps growing and growing.'

"Have you tried spending time with friends who are worse off?"