Referee Humor Gifts

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

The commentators want to run the officials...

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Now what?!'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'