Reel Reviewer Gifts

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

Local Knowledge

'You lifted your head.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

'Come on, come on! Bite! Oh, man... He's looking right at it!!'

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

The Music Critic.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

The Critic...

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"How was the play!"

"Writing that book was a real strain."

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

"You call that a suit?"

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

'When they advertised movie downloads, I thought they meant...'

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

Don Tudge's Positive Movie Reviews

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"