Red-skinned Reader Gifts

Frank was engrossed in his book --- He lost track of time and got a sunburn! Now he's well-read and well-red!

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

Gen-Next Library

Great British Eccentrics.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Pirates

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

'Good book?'

"Sometimes, late at night, I do wonder, 'is he laughing at me or laughing with me?'"

A not-so-bright vampire with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

'We should have removed that sign.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

The fifth generation computer thinking it over- 'Now that there gone I'll get to work on the sixth generation.'

No stopping. I'm binge-listening.

Louse and garden...

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

'Hello, my name is Death'

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'