Color-coordinated Reader Gifts

'I need three books with burnt orange covers, one with chocolate brown and one with light beige - but no best sellers. I don't want people to think I'm trendy.'

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

Audio Books

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

'Men will never understand.'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

Bib's E-Book Readers.

Frank was engrossed in his book --- He lost track of time and got a sunburn! Now he's well-read and well-red!

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'I'm looking for a business suit, in a color that will let me blend in.'

My compliments to the chef – These colors totally match my Instagram aesthetic.

'Can you read the story with more enthusiasm? You're putting me to sleep.'

I don

Decorating a column.

'Does this book come with director commentary.'

Nail shop offers cell phone covers that match painted nails.

Painters

'....Who's the interior decorator again?'

"Thank you for not saying 'Missed a bit.'"

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".

Juggler

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

Down with leather bookbinding. Read paperbacks.

"You look great, dear. Your skin goes with anything."

'You stop buying books and I'll stop buying plants.'

7 Dwarves of Shoes

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, I have encountered a "close-talker" at work who always stands about five or six inches from my face while talking to me. Unfortunately, this close-talker is my boss. How can I get her to stop doing this without shooting my career in the foot? - Charlotte in Austin. Excellent question. It takes me back. The year was 1938. I spent months tracking down the elusive grizzly bear of the Ozark

Painting by numbers - "Is this your first decorating job."