Color Coordination Gifts

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"And the color goes so well with your ink."

Ahh, excellent! I've finally found a tie that matches my eyes!

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

'Do you think these hand weights come in taupe?'

'How does it contrast with the livery of London Transport?'

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

Monk Prompt

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

'Pop-up Bible.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

Priest

'Men will never understand.'

The Coordination Committee meets. . .

I'm color blind, please help.