Red Nose Enthusiast Gifts

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

Bathing the dog

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"It would help if you brown-nosed a little more."

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

"FYI, we still practice brown nosing here."

"We're convinced you'll make a lousy senior partner, but you beat everybody else in the brownnosing department."

Plastic Surgeon Kid

"Your best bet is photoshop."

Comic Relief

'Let's be frank. Perky isn't right for you.'

"It means I don’t give a flying fuck."

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

"Oops."

Man: 'Could you do something about these glasses? They keep slipping down the bridge of my nose.'

'Just relax! Vince is the best nose man in all of boxing. He'll have it back where it belongs in no time.'

"Mr Sinclair, rhinoplastry is an art. Our first step is to spend some time on the grindstone."

The perfect redneck xmas gift.

Neti Potheads

'Now that's what I call a Roman nose!'

"I was trying to listen to someone who was talking behind my back and now..."

"I've mainly been working on my nose."

`"...wouldn't it be easier to ask the cartoonist of this strip to draw you a more decent nose?"

"Sorry sir, they only come in the one size."

A head and shoulders of a little man

"A John Barrymore nose wouldn't be a problem, but I'm afraid the fact that you've been designated a landmark would."

What McWit lacks in speed, he gains in nose.

"He's our busiest surgeon...puts a lot of noses to the grindstone!"