Red Nose Day Pillows

Comic Relief

Pinocchio's Red Nose Day.

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

Keyworker

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

That one has all the batteries!

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Bathing the dog

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"WHich one is mine?"

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"