Red Carpet Strutters Pillows

"I was awarded this Oscar for my presentation of an Oscar at the Oscars."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Oscars acceptance speech.

Oscars

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

'And who are you wearing?'

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

A woman bows to the crowd

Cannes Film Festival Heels Controversy

Carpet

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

'Quick, wardrobe malfunction!'

New Sheik'n'vac magic carpet freshners.

Mic Drop

Red Carpet

"And ultimately, I want to direct."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.