Red Carpet Roller Pillows

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Destination casinos...

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

Renee Zellweger as Judy Garland

Essex computer.

Witch dice.

Oscars acceptance speech.

Beware of stimulus plans.

"Sometimes we all feel like we've been tossed. You just have to roll with it."

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

Oscars

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

'And who are you wearing?'

Jude Law.

Cannes Film Festival Heels Controversy

Carpet

Emma Thompson

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

Leonardo DiCaprio

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

Carpet cleaner.

Oscar Victory

A woman bows to the crowd

Monolithopoly.