Red Carpet Pillows

"Yes, I'm sure that's not what's meant by red carpet attire."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

May I have the envelope, please?

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Oscars acceptance speech.

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

Oscars

Live the Dream!

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

'And who are you wearing?'

'And who are you wearing?'

Cannes Film Festival Heels Controversy

Carpet

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

A woman bows to the crowd

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.